What is mindful masturbation
Mindful masturbation is sacred, reverent, focused autoerotic meditation. Its benefits are backed by science as well as ancient, time tested spiritual practices. It's a practice whose time has come.
Mindful masturbation is a practice of tuning into ones own somatic being, of sharpening ones atunement to their own body, and sensations. Just bringing awareness to ones experience of their body, just noticing what one is experiencing more attentively, makes ones capacity expand; so you learn to feel more, to experience more enjoyment.
This is a very worthwhile practice for a number of reasons.
Masturbation is notoriously distracted. Because of the shame around sexuality, and especially self pleasuring, many of us have developed habits that are the opposite of mindful. We may be listening to our environment for fear of being discovered; maybe we're judging our own bodies; the rightness of what we're doing; we're nervous for our state of vulnerability; we're trying to have an orgasm, or ejaculation, as quickly as possible; we're trying not to make noise, and so suppressing some of our pleasure, and engagement; we're using porn, and so focused on that, instead of our own body. This is like watching TV while eating a gourmet meal; we miss out on the savoring, the subtleties, the deeply nourishing flavors.
We may think that masturbation is only for lonely, or desperate people, that masturbation means that there's something lacking from ones sexual relationships, or a personal failing in having opportunities to have sex with others. This is an unfortunate misconception. Everyone, including people who have very fulfilling sex lives with other people, should have a mindful masturbation practice. Mindful masturbation is good for your sex appeal. It's good for your genital health. It gives you a healthy glow. Mindful masturbation will make one a better, more tuned in, confident, attentive lover. If one is really attuned to their own body, and feeling confident in its function, resourced in accessing deeply pleasurable states on a regular basis, those people can show up for their lover(s) with gusto; with a tremendous amount to give.
I believe that mindful masturbation also effects ones whole being, so that even before getting naked with someone, you feel more confident, happier, more at ease; and people LIKE that! People are drawn to others who have that animal magnetism going on. Mindful masturbation is a great way of cultivating that animal magnetism, that erotic embodiment. It's also a great way of healing from a place of woundedness, of sexual malnourishment, of deprivation, trauma and depression. Pleasure is healing; and being able to access that good medicine whenever you choose, on your terms, is empowering!
Mindful masturbation is a self care practice, where one sets aside a time, and place, where they wont be disturbed. One then creates a sacred container, (set and setting) utilizes some embodiment techniques to get the ball rolling, such as movement, and breath, and then goes on a pleasure adventure. A half hour is a good amount of time, however each person would find out what works for them. One can certainly spend more time if they have the time. The daily practice is what creates profound change.
Cultivating an attitude of curiosity, of playfulness, and reverence is very important; because we will often find resistance.
We will bump up against our previous patterns, and inhibitions, that we've picked up along our path. It's important to practice compassion for ourselves.
In this practice we are really loving ourselves. We are physically making love to ourselves, but we are also opening our heart, and practicing care, and adoration, for our own being, body, mind, and spirit.
This does take practice, but its well worth it. It's more fun than going to the gym, and hopefully you don't have to leave your house. However learning how to integrate this into your life should take some consideration. Working with a coach can help one to make this practice more feasible, how to get the most out of it, how to talk to family members in regards to whats happening when you shut yourself in your room and lock the door, and many other things that may require some support while one is integrating this practice.
The techniques are best learned over a period of time, with the guidance of an experienced coach.
Please contact me if you would like to receive some coaching!