The trinity, is a metaphysical concept. It's the Father, Son, Holy Ghost as the Christians describe it. It's Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu if you're Hindu; (also Shakti, Laksmi, Kali). Now, in addition, most people recognize the trinity of body, mind, spirit.
As someone interested, well more than interested, passionate, about health and healing, Ive come to see, to understand, that our health and well being is complex. Western medicine really fails, I believe, because it refuses to recognize that we are more than our physical bodies.
In my experience, and observation, all wounding, and healing, is multi faceted. We are not just physically injured, we are also mentally traumatized, and that also affects our spirit. We can be hurt on any of these three levels, and it will inevitably affect the others.
Our spirit, in my understanding, is our connection with a larger sense of life, an infinite reservoir of well being, that we draw from. When we are disconnected from our spirit, we feel depressed, hopeless, oppressed, ashamed, unworthy. Spiritual wounding is the deepest, and most difficult to heal from.
Our physical body is the most easily wounded, but it also is the easiest to heal. However, it relies on the underlying fields of mind, and spirit, for its rejuvenation. We all know that exercise is good for our bodies, but if we're depressed, we cant even get off the couch.
Our mind can be injured and we're not even consciously aware of it. We can have erroneous beliefs that poison us, that undermine our well being. We live in a very superficial society, and mental health is generally misunderstood. We still tend to treat people with mental illness as somehow deserving of their state. I believe its because the mind is still so mysterious to us, that we do not treat it as equally tangible as the body. For example in Canada, basic medical care is free, and yet counseling and psychotherapy is not.
Then we have spirit, which we are more confused about than ever. A few generations ago, the majority of the western world went to church regularly. Having faith in a higher power was not considered unscientific; it was a cultural norm. Now, there are many people who really feel like they don't know what to believe in. I cant help but wonder if we've replaced God with capitalism. Capitalism or rather the faith in money, is the definition of hellish disembodiment.
Im not a fan of dogma, or churches at all. I think the organized religions have been a playground for evil behavior. However I do believe that people need something to believe in, something mostly intangible. There is absolutely something tangible about spirit, but its sort of the tip of the iceberg, the tangible part. Spirituality and faith take practice before the rewards, the nourishment, are made tangible.Faith is what leads us from darkness to light.
Spirituality is a faculty I believe, just like seeing and hearing. Perhaps it can be described by feeling; I think most could relate to that. When we are feeling really incredible, standing on a mountain top looking at a sunrise, many people might describe that euphoria as a spiritual feeling; a boundless joy, a joy so big it seems excessive almost. Births, and deaths and true love, we describe in spiritual terms. Also, when we are at the depths of despair and we've lost our faith in the future, in well being returning, we might describe it as hell; a place without solace.
The feeling of spirit isn't primarily physical; its from the core of our being, a soul ache or ecstasy. I don't see a difference between soul, or spirit. I think they describe the same thing, that inner sense of rightness and wrongness. That inner voice of guidance, or lack of, inner light and darkness, downfall and uplift; spirit ebbing and flowing.
I believe that any healing modality should recognize these three, interconnected, aspects, of every, human, being. Sex, Spirit, Psyche
In Heavenly Embodiment, we have a physically focused modality, Sexalogical Bodywork, which is really massage, and somatic coaching, that includes the whole body, so genitals are not excluded. Our fear, and disconnect to, and of, our genitals, and sexuality, is a real problem area in our world. I could write a whole essay on that alone, but let me summarize by saying WE MUST heal our disconnection, our trauma, and our shame, with our root and sexual centers, with these fundamental parts of ourselves. Ignoring them, and disassociating from them, causes disease and dysfunction in every aspect of our lives. The overindulgence, violence, and addictive behaviors, I believe, are very much related to our wounded nether regions. Having a whole body massage can be wonderfully affirming, and healing, and begin an unlocking of an ancient, wisdom.
There is also a modality for addressing the mind, that is, hypnosis. Hypnosis is not as mysterious as it seems. A hypnosis session can look like a regular talk therapy session, but with the emphasis on accessing a deeper, expanded state of consciousness, where the client uses their own intuition to find alignment within themselves, to create a congruent framework, or world view, that supports their well being. Just like a computer, our mind is programmed, and re programmable. Beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking. With hypnosis, we can reprogram the mind in a natural way, informed by the clients own inner wisdom.
We also have Qi Gong, which is a physical, and mental practice; but primarily it is a spiritual practice, in my opinion. It is a beautiful way of feeling into an expanded state of being. Qi Gong aligns us with our own nature, and the larger natural world that we are part of. It aligns our body, mind and spirit. Qi Gong is incredibly nourishing of our spirit. I believe that Qi Gong is a very relevant practice for this modern age, an age where we are losing our access to nature, and wild spaces, an age where the environmental stressors are mounting. Qi Gong can provide us with a powerful self regulating practice; and the primary way it does that is by nourishing our spirit.
So this is the Heavenly Embodiment trinity. These three modalities working together to support and heal participants in a synergistic way; nurturing body, mind and spirit.
I will readily admit, that this project, this business, is far from perfected, polished or seamless. At this point, it is me, and I am none of those things. Heavenly Embodiment is certainly a work in progress, and a new one at that. It has been born out of my own suffering and pain, and also persistence, and joy, despite a myriad of setbacks, and seeming failures. I use these tools myself. I have not mastered them yet, but I do believe that I have enough understanding, and skill, to provide to those who are open, and willing enough, a point of light in the darkness, a kindling of hope, a way of turning their body, mind and spirit towards their own personal feeling of heaven.
May all of your facets shine.
Do we need to define our sexual orientation? Are the current labels useful, or are they adding to the confusion? Are we confusing our identities with our labels and becoming overly identified with a narrow avenue of perception, and expression?
For myself, the label of gay has been useful. It helped me define myself as having unique needs, and interests in a world that seem to have no place for me. I had desires, and interests as an adolescent that I sensed were unacceptable. My interests were not the stereotypical guy type of stuff. I was bullied for being too sensitive.
So coming out as gay was a way of saying “yes, I'm not like you, so don't expect that you can change me” It was a way of creating some space for myself, and eventually finding more people like me. However it also at the same time isolated me, and reinforced an idea that I was separate, different, weird. For much of my life I've felt different. But in retrospect, that self concept has really undermined my sense of connection.
I think everyone feels different to some degree. If someone feels a sameness, its usually interpreted as a belonging, a familiarity; it feels good. Feeling different often feels bad, especially when we're young, and trying to find our place in the world.
I thought I found my tribe, but even then, having moved to a big city, with many gay men, I still felt different. Our commonality was our weirdness, our similar stories of rejection, and the fact that we were interested in having sex with men. Sure there was elements of commonality, but there was many differences as well.
Labels, like all words, are innately general. As we string together a sentence, we narrow down an idea, a message, a thought. One word is incredibly general. There is no relativity and no context. So the word GAY, is actually not that useful. Im pretty sure that's why we now have LGBTQQIP2SAA, but seriously that's a bit ridiculous in my mind.
Alfred Kinsey decided that sexuality was a spectrum, and that makes sense to me. Life is more nuanced than we can grasp. We simplify the world to make sense of it, we break it into bite sized pieces. But doing that we lose connection with it; we create others and delineations.
So in calling myself gay, I created a separate world for myself, and some others. Our identity was of otherness, of oppression, of radicalness.
In my desire to be the best me I can be, Im now beginning to deconstruct this, and interestingly, I see this happening around me. Gayness, queerness, othernesses of all sorts are being integrated into society. Also, straight, “normal” people are letting their freak flags fly. There are mixed reviews of this phenomena, but I think its good in this context, that we are coming together, that we are becoming more connected. And I believe that people thrive when they feel connection and belonging. Isn't the label human being enough?
I believe that there are many men that could benefit from intimacy with other men, even if they arent gay, as in their preference is not to regularly have sex with men. Intimacy can look like a variety of things; but perhaps the label of gay has meant that many men have to decide to be one thing or another. It may mean that they feel forced into a categorization and set of behaviours. Its just the same as gender roles that limit men, and ultimately is what caused me to feel the need to find a label that explained me as an outlier of standard masculinity. Man means masculine...unless youre gay it seems. So some men fear demonstrating behaviours that lie outside of standard masculine behaviours for fear of being categorized, by themselves, as gay. 'I don't want to be gay, I'm not gay, therefore I cant cuddle with a guy, even though I want to, I just need to forget about that'. It seems that a lot of the worst cases of homophobia, are often from men that likely are struggling furiously against their own desires of same sex relating.
And I absolutely believe that the vast majority of heterosexual men have had thoughts, desires about intimacy with other men, but have shut that down. I think thats really unfortunate, because I believe men who have experienced love for other men, will be a lot more compassionate, will feel a kind of nourishment that they do not get from their intimacy with women. Perhaps men have been conditioned away from loving each other, to make us more aggressive, more willing to kill each other. Labels are at work in all wars. Labels are the same as borders. Labels are ideologies. Labels insulate us from understanding, responsibility and compassion.
If we could let go of our tight grip on labels, I believe that we could begin to regain a deep sense of connectedness and security with all of life. We could feel a bond of love with others that meant only that we were human being doing what is natural. We are meant to love each other.
Me defining myself has gay, has also meant that I've ruled out sexual intimacy with women and I believe that this has actually stunted me, deprived me of learning something valuable from women.
Men, whatever your self definition, I challenge you to loosen your grip on the labels that you use to define yourselves. For a minute even let go of the concept of man. Think of yourself as merely a penis owner. Observe yourself not as your role in the world, but your experience as a sensory creature. What would it be like to follow your body's impulses for a day?
I don't believe that we are going to find satisfaction in forever subdividing and labelling infinitum so as to represent every minority. In fact we create more minorities with every label. We are all minorities in our uniqueness. We are all unique and that doesn't need affirming with a label. The discussion should be directed in a different way so as to include variety as nature does, to create an environment conducive to unique expression while still maintaining connection to the whole. We should not have to shout “IM DIFFERENT” to express our preferences. Because in doing so we often isolate ourselves from the resources that can and do support us.
Perhaps we can de emphasize labels, and remind ourselves that our infinite uniqueness is what makes us all so human.
Dating and sex are a sort of mine field these days. Perhaps it has always been one of lifes biggest challenges, but there are some serious added complications now: dating apps, STI's, prophylactic medication like prep, drug use, open relating, changing societal standards, social media pressures, confusing topics such as gender identity, preferred intimacy roles, and internalized homophobia.
At least its legal to be gay now right?! In a very short time, the options as well as the challenges have really opened up.
I can not think of a single gay couple who are in a monogamous and lasting relationship. Im not saying that it's the only way, or even the preferred way, although I do believe it is what many people want; it's probably what is most conducive to a stable life. It can be argued that a stable life is not what is the most creative, or innovative, or evolutionary. However most gay people have had enough “variety” and no shortage of creative impetus. Some stability might be nice.
The primary desires, Ill even say craving, that I see in gay men including myself, is to have good friends that they can feel safe with, a healthy body, and a nice home. In addition to that, there is the exploration and expression of the sexual impulse.
Sexual impulses can motivate us to do things that we might not normally do. It's probably useful in keeping humanity going, where desire helps us to overcome sleepy contented inertia. But excessive desire without satisfaction can feel very oppressive. A deep yearning for love but feeling like it is un-accessible is the cause, I believe, for the massive drug and alcohol use in the world.
I believe that its time for people to develop the very important skill set of self satisfaction. What I'm meaning is for guys to be able to be confidently able to choose an auto-erotic lifestyle, where their sexual needs are met by themselves.
This is not simply just masturbating and calling it a day; that will not be satisfying for people. What I mean is actually a number of ways of creating intimacy, and care with ones self.
Self care is a kind of catch word these days. People are beginning to understand the importance of caring for their own well being. Sometimes the airplane mask analogy is used, where you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then you can help another. You can only be useful to another person if you can breathe.
I really got this concept in a big way as a nurse. The difference in the days where I felt resourced in a sense of well being, compared to the days that I felt deprived, were huge. One day Id have boundless compassion, the other day I was irritable. This came from me either taking care of myself or not.
Expecting that another person, that we don't know all that well, provide us with what we ourselves are not very clear about, is unlikely. Making relationships work, making one offs satisfying, being in non standard sexual relationships and having them be smooth, are all very difficult to achieve; and I believe near impossible, if we aren't able to have a satisfying relationship with ourselves.
People get stuck, because for example, they find themselves single, or in a loveless relationship; and under those conditions they feel bad, they don't take care of themselves, they feel more needy. Then it becomes very difficult to change the situation. How likely are we to go out of our comfort zone to create a new opportunity for relating, or for expressing ourselves or feeling nourished and loved? Whats more likely is that people spiral downward, slowly or rapidly. We fill our time with sense gratification, distraction, smoking, food, shopping, we work too much and neglect our health. we don't care for ourselves because we aren't feeling nurturance. To shift that, we need to provide the nurturance for ourselves.
This most people get by doing things such as going on a holiday, buying oneself something nice, getting a massage, but its also very present in the ability to say no to doing something that doesn't feel good for you, and yes to that inner whisper of your dreams and inner child.
It means making love to yourself and romancing yourself.
See because you aren't just one. We are all very fragmented inside. We have inner relationships. Self love can be a way of harmonizing these inner parts of ourselves, a way of finding inner alignment. And if you find that rarefied state of alignment, there will be no shortage of love, there will be no neediness; you will feel whole, complete, and satisfied. That may not last, because life is always causing us to add to ourselves, adding new elements to integrate. Which can be enjoyable as long as we feel we have a foundation of well being, of love and satisfaction that we can return to.
This foundation is one that we cultivate and firmly establish with practice, by learning how to love ourselves. I propose that an auto-erotic lifestyle, a kind of celibacy, a self monogamy, may be a potent way of doing so.
This involves a decent amount of knowledge that most people do not have currently; there are a lot of moving part, and its not currently part of our cultural milieu, so education and practice are very important.
Eros, the Greek god of desire, was originally considered one of the primordial gods, birthed out of a cosmic egg. Later he was considered to be the child of Aries, the god of war, and Aphrodite, the goddess of love.
This symbolism is so interesting to me. First that desire was the first impulse that created order out of chaos; then also the by product of war and love.
"At the beginning there was only Chaos, Night (Nyx), Darkness (Erebus), and the Abyss (Tartarus). Earth, the Air and Heaven had no existence. Firstly, black winged Night laid a germ-less egg in the bosom of the infinite deeps of Darkness, and from this, after the revolution of long ages, sprang the graceful Love (Eros) with his glittering golden wings, swift as the whirlwinds of the tempest. He mated in the deep Abyss with dark Chaos, winged like himself, and thus hatched forth our race, which was the first to see the light." 
Some philosophies suggest that we should aim to eliminate desire to find peace, but I think there's something missing there, because there is still desire involved in wanting peace. I believe peace can be found in a sense of gratitude, reverence for ones current stage of the fulfillment of ones desire.
Cupid, the Roman version of Eros, is depicted as having a bow and arrow. This symbol is powerful to me. There is tension in the bow, and sharpness in the arrow. The tension and release reflect the orgasmic principle which is evident everywhere in the human body and in nature. Its the sympathetic and parasympathetic, its the orgasmic ebb and flow of the universe. The arrow suggests direction and focused intent. The word sin is an archery term, meaning to miss the mark; essentially a lack of focus.
Dynamic tension is different from stress. Stress that is not released causes disease, disconnect. Dynamic tension is not static, but has the purpose of building up a charge and then releasing it; winding up and unwinding. This is very healthy in the mind and body. Its where all strength and creativity come into fuller manifestation.
The physical emphasized version of this is quite present in the Qi Gong training that Ive done, described at length by the emerging fascia science. Its also very present in the de-armoring of Sexalogical Bodywork. And both recognize the mindfulness, the focused intent as key.
The mind emphasized component I see in art and activism. Artists build up a sort of internal dynamic tension by observing, feeling, and then unleash that energy in a focused way. Activists are charged up by their sensitivity to their environment and community, and passionately respond by participating in change creation. Of course this too requires a bodily engagement.
All of this I attribute to desire, the lusty, passionate, desire to be both receptive and active, mental and physical in ones own life. Vitality I believe is an eagerness to both receive and to give; to be part of natures flow. The sum of this is what I call presence. Our passionate desire can create a potent presence.
I think this following interplay is also quite relevant to my work:
The story of Eros and Psyche has a longstanding tradition as a folktale of the ancient Greco-Roman world long before it was committed to literature in Apuleius' Latin novel, The Golden Ass. [...]
The story tells of the struggle for love and trust between Eros and Psyche. Aphrodite was jealous of the beauty of mortal princess Psyche, as men were leaving her altars barren to worship a mere human woman instead, and so she commanded her son Eros, the god of love, to cause Psyche to fall in love with the ugliest creature on earth. But instead, Eros falls in love with Psyche himself and spirits her away to his home. Their fragile peace is ruined by a visit from Psyche's jealous sisters, who cause Psyche to betray the trust of her husband. Wounded, Eros leaves his wife, and Psyche wanders the Earth, looking for her lost love. Eventually she approaches Aphrodite and asks for her help. Aphrodite imposes a series of difficult tasks on Psyche, which she is able to achieve by means of supernatural assistance.
After successfully completing these tasks, Aphrodite relents and Psyche becomes immortal to live alongside her husband Eros. Together they had a daughter, Voluptas or Hedone (meaning physical pleasure, bliss).
In Greek mythology, Psyche was the deification of the human soul. She was portrayed in ancient mosaics as a goddess with butterfly wings (because psyche was also the Ancient Greek word for 'butterfly'). The Greek word psyche literally means "soul, spirit, breath, life or animating force". 
So in finding harmony between our psyche and soma, mind and body, we are able to achieve bliss through physical pleasure, embodiment, presence. I think there's something interesting about this story; that Aphrodite was attempting to get psyche to fall in love with the ugliest earthly creature, and Psyche was mortal herself, so there's this bridging of the mundane and the divine, a love for things imperfect. This too supports my hypothesis that we can heal our ugliest, most mundane aspects of ourselves by loving them, accepting them first as they are.
What do you desire for your life? Can you feel your desire in an enjoyable, appreciative way?
What do you have now, that you previously desired? Can you savour the incremental progress? Can you enjoy the anticipation?
Enjoy the present, enjoy your hunger, the place that you're currently at, in your ever unfolding quest for more.
After all, desire is a fundamental principle of creation.
 Aristophanes, Birds, lines 690–699. (Translation by Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Perseus Digital Library; translation modified.)