Sexalogical Bodywork is a therapeutic modality that addresses several fundamental aspects of human nature, and experience: Sexuality, Body, and Pleasure.
It seeks to support embodiment, which is state of sense awareness; a harmony of body and mind; mindful sensation. Our Soma, or our lived experience, is so much richer when we train ourselves to bring more, and more, of our consciousness to it. It expands, and the elements of mind, and body synergize.
It utilizes guided self awareness, to retrain the nervous system as a remedy for sympathetic nervous bias. Our current modern world creates unnatural stressors that are persistent. This can undermine the autonomic nervous systems ebb and flow, required for health.
It follows the guidance of pleasure and it can be used to address sexual dysfunction, sexual trauma, and to support gender and sexual orientation confidence.
As a healing, therapeutic modality, Sexalogical Bodywork is probably one of the most intimate. It takes sex work into a standardized and academic realm. There is scientific theory, research, and practice supporting the modality.
It is exceptionally client centred, and humanistic in its philosophy and methods.
The premise is self regulation, and self awareness; facilitated by the practitioner, in an unconditionally supportive framework, which interestingly emphasizes boundary setting, and awareness. It also includes the concept of consent as a cultural milieu, a communication, and behavioural approach that creates non violent space for expression of desire, and body autonomy. It teaches within that consensual framework, emotional accountability; learning to hear no and not take it as rejection but instead thank the person for the clarification of their boundaries.
Somatic refers to the body, so in this case its about body awareness, and focus. Many people without training are not aware of their degree of dissociation that has occurred, incrementally over time. Our modern culture emphasizes a cerebral approach to the world. And many of us have experienced traumas of varying degrees that have caused us to numb and dull our sensory acuity; it's part of our adaptation in a world that can often be unpleasant. Think of how sensitive we are as children, and then as adults experience life in a sort of lacklustre way. Often we are looking for ways to recapture the lightheartedness, and joyfulness of the past. This can be achieved in varying degrees through mindfulness training.
Many cultures and faiths even demonize bodily pleasure as something that should be overcome, and yet people are voracious consumers of pain killers, alcohol, drugs, and entertainment. These cravings I believe are rooted in our desire to feel the natural pleasures of embodiment. Embodiment is the profound awareness of the harmony of mind and body, of being sublimely present and content; it is a feeling of being at home in ones self.
Understanding and awareness of the nervous system, can help us self regulate. Trauma and stress are not what happen to us, but how we perceive those experiences. That is why therapeutic methods can resolve trauma by re-contextualizing our perception of sense data. Our nervous system and our brain are pattern recognizing and creating. They anticipate and asses our sense data in habitual ways. They are programmed and re-programmable. Without mindfulness, we react to sense data from our past experiences of it and the associations that we gathered and connected subconciously. We become biased in our outlook and beliefs. With mindfulness, we can chose how we make connections. We can emphasize and de-emphasize information with intention and practice, with repetition, to expand our frameworks for greater functionality and enjoyment.
In a setting intentionally designed for safety and respect, an individual can begin to let go of old habits and beliefs, that may have been formed very early on. Attitudes that can restrict vitality and happiness can be held in mind/body structures in a very unconscious way. By following subtle pleasure, and making space for the inner voice of desire, we can unwind some of the rigidity of mind and body.
Its easy to underestimate the power of sensual touch, of breath awareness, of vocalization and movement, until one actually makes time to bring awareness to these fundamental aspects of ourselves. We take them for granted. Our years of enduring have distanced our own resources from us.
Sexuality is both taboo, and commodified in our culture, depersonalizing it. We don't talk openly about it in honest vulnerable ways, and so we may harbour guilt, shame and fear about perfectly normal aspects of ourselves. Revealing ourselves, our thoughts, our questions and our eros in a safe setting can be very healing.
Its interesting to see the resistance that people have to expressing how they would like to be touched. They don't perceive the benefit of it at first. Maybe it seems awkward or unnecessary.
In my desire to meet people where they are at, I agree to give them an intuitive massage if that's what they say they want. However I try and express to them that what I am offering is much more powerful than a massage. It seems the only paradigm many people have for touch is enduring; touch that makes them leave their bodies. I wonder if they even know what enthusiastic consent feels like.
Sexalogical bodywork is similar to hypnosis. Both create a state of physical relaxation, but mental acuity. This is unique from the zoned out sleepy place that laying on the beach, or getting a regular massage creates. I utilize these two modalities because they are so similar, and complimentary. Unfortunately most people don't understand how either of them work. It is frustrating for me that people may not have more than one session. I imagine that is because of confusion, that there's too much novelty to really wrap ones head around. I aspire to present this knowledge in a more accessible way for people.
The fact is that one cannot make a good assessment about efficacy with anything less than 5 sessions of either modality. There could be results in less time than that, and there will be lovely experiences in that time, but to really understand the potency of either modalities takes several sessions. I believe that anything can be resolved using these therapies, (and in a much shorter time than traditional talk therapy).
Too often we don't know what we don't know. But how long are we willing to put up with less than happiness. Sadly, many people seem to be stuck in less than desirable states of being. Their attitudes, their outlook, health, finances, relationships are not what they want to be, yet they feel powerless to change them with any great speed. But the truth is, that the tools are out there, er, rather in here, in our soma, our bodymind. Commitment, and determination is all that is required, and the belief that its possible. Relief comes with even the smallest improvements.
What do you desire for yourself? Everything that you want is because you think you will feel better in having it. So how do you want to feel? With clarity, intention, and determination, its possible, and so worth pursuing!